Prehistoric chicken megafauna unearthed from Petaluma River: colossal fossil set for first public viewing this Halloween.

Dredging operation reveals massive skeletal remains of extinct avian species. Discovery coincides with reports of disturbing behavior at local chicken ranches­—roosters crowing in unison at midnight, hens arranging eggs in circles. While authorities urge the public to remain calm, one local worried: “I don’t know about you, but this whole thing gives me the creeps.”

petaluma, ca | september 8, 2026 

Dredging operations associated with the restoration of the Trestle Promenade on the Petaluma River have led to what local historians are calling the most significant paleontological find in Sonoma County history.  Crews have recovered the near-complete skeletal remains of an enormous, previously unknown species scientists are calling Pollosaurus Maximus, Latin for “Big Scary Chicken”.

Divers surveying the riverbed near downtown Petaluma first noticed bone fragments lodged in the silt that were too large for any extant species. Subsequent excavations revealed an articulated skeleton measuring more than 20 feet from claw to cockscomb.  The discovery has gob smacked researchers, given Petaluma’s long-documented history as “The Egg Basket of
the World.”

“We’ve always known this region had a relationship with poultry—going back generations,” said one excavator. “But we never suspected the relationship was actually a million years old.”  She added: “Humans now breed poultry for food, but this thing would have eaten us for breakfast.”

Adding to the sense of dread and fascination surrounding the discovery, some community leaders have voiced concern that the disturbance of the creature’s resting place might have angered its spirit.  Said one: “With all these reports of angry chickens misbehaving and whatnot, I think we might need to do something that welcomes their great ancestor and makes it feel at home.
I mean, the last thing we need is some kind of giant Poultrygeist wreaking havoc on our town.”

public viewing announced for halloween night

In a bold and unprecedented move, the recovered remains will be made available for public viewing for the first time ever on Saturday, October 31st, at Hall of the Above, an event venue in downtown Petaluma. The specimen will be displayed in the 30ft tall main space, viewable by the public for one night only.  The unveiling will coincide with an evening of music and revelry, as organizers felt the best way to welcome El Pollo Muerto was to throw a raging dance party.

“You don’t dredge up the biggest chicken in recorded history and right away just stick it in a museum,” said a spokesperson for the venue. “I mean, what if it’s actually a Funky Chicken?”

event details

What     Public unveiling of skeleton and Halloween dance party Night of the Chicken Dead

When     Saturday, October 31st, 7:00 – 11:00 pm

Where    Hall of the Above, 199 Petaluma Blvd N, Petaluma, CA

Attire Attendees are urged to dress appropriately, i.e., Paleontologist, Chicken Farmer, Exorcist, etc.